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3 Of The Craziest CBD Products Available Right Now

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(Some Of) The Most Outrageously Bougie CBD Products Available On The Market Today

With CBD oil fast on track to becoming the next “Pumpkin spice” trendy mainstay, it’s no wonder that there’s been some “interesting” CBD products popping up on the market recently. While some are excellent (shout out to the expanding market of CBD skincare), some are just downright… ridiculous.

We’ve compiled a list of some of the most spectacularly bougie CBD products available on the market, that your typical cool white Goop mom has definitely double tapped on the page of some hot #influencer.

Now, high quality CBD oil is always going to set you back a pretty penny, since it is such a labour-intensive product to get from farm to shelf. But considering most of these products are edibles (which don’t really offer the most bang for your buck in terms of bioavailability), the extravagance of some of these prices and ingredients is all the more astounding.

It’s also clear that a lot of these products are not marketed to the average person looking to alleviate their anxiety, but rather wealthy people/companies looking to cash in on the newest wellness #trend. So, how do the Goop moms take their CBD oil?

A Brief Rundown Of The Strangest CBD Products Currently On The Market

Themptation CBD Hummus – £4.75

This photo blew up on the internet, courtesy of twitter user @alastair_moore_ with the caption “Enough is enough”. With over 37k likes and counting, this tweet truly captures the ire of everyone who’s had quite enough of this wellness mania of turning every innocent food product into CBD oil therapy. Even by our standards, we implore you – leave the hummus alone.

Besides the fact that this product is among the most cataclysmic combinations of otherwise fantastic products (don’t get us wrong, we love hummus), it’s highly unlikely this will produce many of the desired effects of CBD. 13mg of CBD oil in a tub of hummus weighing 190g is a miniscule percentage (remember that 1 gram = 1,000 milligrams). Combined with the fact that only 20% on average of the CBD you consume through edibles makes it through the digestive process, we’re calling BS on this hummus.

Laka Living CBD Almond Butter – £67

This CBD-infused almond butter from Laka Living promises 15mg of CBD per serving. From a 4oz jar (around 113g), Laka Living estimate you’ll get around 8 servings CBD almond butter. In terms of bioavailability, after you’ve digested your 15mg of CBD you’ll only have about 3g of active CBD leftover to run around your system.

Now I don’t know about you, but if I had a cool, loose £67 in cash laying about the house, the last thing I’d probably spend it on is one singular tub of CBD almond butter. In fact, here’s a list of a few other things you could buy with that money:

  • 67 tins of Tesco pre-mix gin and tonic
  • 6 Chicken McNuggets, 24 times over
  • Two pre-booked day passes for Thorpe Park
  • 5 very expensive IPA’s in this London pub
  • 67 bags of Tesco’s frozen vegetable samosas

Etc, etc.

24 Bottles Of CBD Living Water – £95

If you’re going to shell out around £4 on a 500ml bottle of water, one would hope to be drinking nothing less than the cold-pressed tears of Jesus Christ himself. Is that the case here? Afraid not – just some CBD infused water.

According to the CBD Living website, their bottled CBD water is made with 100% organic hemp-derived CBD extract, and uses “cutting edge nanotechnology” to make sure every sip of your precious elixir contains 5 million nano-grams of “highly bioavailable” nano-CBD. For reference, a single nano-gram is a billionth of a gram.

Our advice: Save your money, for the love of God, and just buy high quality quality CBD oil elsewhere to put into your plebeian tap water like the rest of us.